The Two Faced Man

Still remember the day when the whole world seemed to be falling apart, it was the worst day of my life. I was in another city, away from family, away from friends, away from anything my mind could find solace in, and before I could contemplate my ways out of the situation, a sudden force thrust me back into the deep pit I had fallen into. It seemed like the day would never end and all agonies of the world were thrown up at me all at once. There are situations in life, when you just know that you wouldn’t be able to handle things on your own, when you need someone, if not to give you a solution, then just to be with you so you realise it’s the same world that made you happy, that is the only source of your strength, that is familiar to you or had been few days ago, and that small ways solve big problems and if nothing works out it’s time that heals the gravest of wounds.

Yes, I felt like killing myself, but my heart resisted, for there was one waiting – for there was a hope of solace that could resurrect me back to how strong I was. And my heart never gave up on him. Some bonds strengthen due to abundance of time and some bonds strengthen due to scarcity of it. The latter ones are the special ones because they leave an impact that not many understand, perhaps just the people who are faced with it. You know it will end at some point of time, and that is where it continues, in its own unique direction, to make you realise that wherever life takes you, this memory – that is engraved in time, no amount of lie, ignorance, pain or agony can take it away from you because you have lived the moment this memory was made – this memory will ensure that you don't fade away, it will ensure that you live to the fullest because you have experienced what time does.

You are never good or bad if you are good or bad in someone else’s eyes. It’s queer how a person who was so important to you, becomes a stranger all of a sudden – but sudden is relative – because its time that builds emotions and behaviour with bounderies so obscure that sudden is no where to be seen. So a person is two kinds – one who was/ is with you, in his air that actually belongs to both of you, familiarity that makes life easy and happy and the world looks alright – and second is the stranger that he was before you met him, the only strangeness being becoming strangers after getting acquainted because of the added memories that never leave you. You’ll abhor an estranged bond the same way you abhor a stranger because it takes an unknown, unforseeable route but stronger memories will make you respect this stranger for the sake of time and the good world. That’s the two faced man.

Missing Time

I woke up to a very strange morning. The cool winter breeze was blowing and birds were chirping which made room for a typical morning but my bed surprisingly was upside down and was stuck to the ceiling! I remember that distinctly because I did try to manually swing the fan a little bit, just for fun. Then I could hear my alarm ringing which, contrary to everyday, didn’t sound annoying at all today. I may have tried a dance step or two too while I was up at the ceiling. Then by the support of the walls, I manoeuvred my way down and was standing on the floor alright which gave me a strange happiness. I am sure I had to go somewhere because I completed my morning chores quite deftly and put on my favourite pair of jeans and got ready. I also noticed that I had this black watch on that I loved, which was gifted to me few years ago by my sister, but I had lost it somewhere. So it was quite strange to suddenly find it wrapped placidly around my wrist. I hugged my mother and kissed her on her cheek like I do before going anywhere but peeking in the drawing room was the slight view of my bedroom where my bed still stood upside down. But I gave an assuring smile to my mother and bid her goodbye.

I started walking down the road and to my surprise most of the people who were walking by were people I had already seen or met in college or school or somewhere else in the past and I exchanged greetings with all of them. I could hear some of my favourite songs playing in the background and I knew this day was going to be great. Just as our life slowly graduates from one phase to another, I felt like crossing the street to reach a place which seemed like a spot reaching which the background music would fade away. It looked like a peaceful place and I was instantly intrigued. When I tried focusing on it, it appeared like a spherical source emitting a mystical white light which looked chaste yet extremely powerful. Soon as I put my step forth, a big car arrived. It was resplendently black in colour and I don’t remember what model it was but it was the most extravagantly beautiful car I had ever seen in my life. I even tried to look through its tainted glass but I couldn’t figure out who or what, sitting there killed me!

There was this sudden realisation and I am sure I felt a thump in my chest, which happens when you hear a sudden, tragic news. Yes I was dead. But then how can I feel myself thinking, talking and living right now – is what I couldn’t figure out amidst the eerie fog that had appeared and obliterated the white light completely. I realised somehow that I had to think fast to make it happen; and so it happened.

The canvas got painted with my thoughts that seemed to pour down as innocently as a tear. I saw my family having lunch together. They were happy seeing which brought a big smile to my face. Next stop, friends. Soon a carnival began with songs that I couldn’t understand, but sounded groovy yet divine in my head, and numerous people I had never met, dancing and having a gala time. It was as if the stars had descended on the ground. Soon a person grabbed my hand and drew me towards a crowd and we started dancing. Grooving together there, were all of my best and close friends and I felt like I would explode with exuberance. I couldn’t stop smiling and at that moment, I knew I didn’t have anything to tell them because I felt they already knew – it was the time to feel what wasn't felt – dance, laugh, sing, revel in that time that was so unpredictable. At that point I didn’t feel I had a single regret, complaint or shortcoming to be sad about at all. I could see all the people I had known or met at some point in my life dancing and being happy together and there was nothing more I could have asked for.

 Then another hand pulled me to a pretty face and I knew this would be a lover’s dance. We danced together, close, and waltzed to each and every corner of that terrace we had ended up at, where I otherwise used to visit at evenings or under moonlight to think about the stuff going on in my life. But there was no worry now – not even to see the lover’s face; I felt like I had already seen the world, like I had already touched the zenith of happiness, I felt it was time.

And then my phone’s alarm rang and I found myself curled up in my bed which looked perfectly normal on the ground now. I rose from the bed and I had this slight pain in my hand and when I looked at it I saw the marks that a watch leaves when you tie it tightly on your wrist. I had a sudden urge and I rushed to the terrace of my place and after a while of scanning every corner I found something on the spot which I think was roughly above the ceiling of my room where my bed had gotten stuck. It was my lost black watch.

Who was he?

"175 bucks for a single ride and just 50 for pool!"

"So which one's she going to take? Tune in 10 minutes later to your very own show to find out!"

Sakshi's friend joked around with her. It was a crazy winter evening and the day couldn't have been worse - with accidentally spilling coffee on her denims to getting yelled at by her boss in front of her teammates - she had already deemed it the most pathetic day she faced that winter. But so is life, every second you calculate, judge and decide only to fiddle around with that decision later.

"So I don't have 175 bucks in cash, it's already 9pm and I'm sitting with my friends from night shift, my parents wouldn't stop calling to give me a minute's time to book a cab through my almost discharged phone and I can't even have a cup of coffee to calm myself!" Sakshi said in utter frustration.

"Look at you dear, you're going completely crazy. Don't worry, just tell me if you want to go single or opt for pool and I'll book a cab right away through my phone. By the time the cab arrives, you can put your phone to charge here, and talk to your parents so they would stop worrying." Sakshi's head was spinning; she took a deep breath and sat down to decide what to do. As her home was right by the street close to her workplace, she figured sharing a cab wouldn't be a bad option as she would get to deboard first. So she made her decision and 5 minutes later the cab arrived and she bid goodbye to her friend.

The driver wished her namaste which is always pleasant to hear even when you aren't having a good day and Sakshi felt like she was already coming back to her senses. The driver started the trip. There was a lot of hustle and bustle around as it was a rush hour. Was there anyone amidst this traffic who had a worse day than her? Sakshi started thinking. Would her boss even for a second think if his decision to rebuke her was wrong and that he had ruined someone's day completely just so he could get a work done? Perhaps not. You may not remember making someone sad but you can never forget making someone happy.

Few minutes later, the cab stopped at a spot and a second rider entered the cab. He was dressed in an off-white shirt that had a big stain on it, with few buttons open revealing his thin front, and a shabby black trouser with a pocket torn to the extent of revealing an equally torn wallet and Sakshi couldn't breathe in the awful pungent smell he had brought in with him. She soon realized that he was drunk and it sent chills down her spine as he sat next to her. "Please open the windows sirji", he said. "Before your odor chokes me to death" There was some serious talking going on in Sakshi's head.

"He is drunk for crying out loud, so much that maybe even the people sitting in this jam in their cars can sense it. He is dressed like a cheapster - and isn't he cold, endorsing that see-through shirt in this freezing weather, and where do such people get money or internet connection to book a cab - where is he even headed to anyway - maybe a dark, notorious street somewhere where his friends or local goons have gathered to talk about the number of girls they eve-teased today over drinks and bidis."

 Sakshi zipped her jacket up to her neck and held her purse closer. Soon a myriad of thoughts started vacillating in her head. "What if he tries to touch me, I haven't even bought a pepper spray yet. What if he starts abusing in the middle of the road and creates a scene, how will I reach home to my already worried parents? Should I not have opted for pool? Should I inform my friend in office?" Soon as she looked down at her phone, it made a sound and got discharged. "Do you need a power bank madam?" He spoke in a squeaky yet feebly sensible sounding voice taking out a power bank from another one of his pockets. Sakshi gave a nervous smile and took it from him accidentally brushing against his finger. She later wiped her hand on the car seat cover and left the "and why would you do that" question in her head unanswered.

The next few minutes she spent closing her eyes and praying to reach safely and opening them only to see this man seated next to her enjoying the outside view occasionally taking his head out of the window and enjoying the wind blowing right in his dark brown unkempt hair. It made him smile. He didn't have a pretty smile though, just the weird gross kind that arises from yellow-black teeth piercing through dark creepy faces when they assume that you were staring at them in utter admiration. Sakshi was amazed. It made her smile and she had a "thank you for existing" look on her face for that time when he was looking away. Soon, as she had anticipated, her destination was reached first. She handed him the power bank and thanked him for it and got down from the car. Soon as she started to walk, she heard a voice, "Have a nice day madam". She turned back and with a happy smile said, "Thank you" only to realize that it wasn't her fellow rider but the driver who had wished her that. The fellow rider was still swooning in his new found admiration of the winter wind. And Sakshi felt like there couldn't have been a better way to lift her mood that day that she had deemed the most pathetic day of that winter. But then so is life, every second you calculate, judge and decide only to fiddle around with that decision later.

[This story obviously is fictional but I hope a man like this exists amidst the people who stare at us every day. And when a day like that would happen I hope we can feel perfectly normal around them rather than giving them the “thanks for existing” look.]