Stepping in the abyss of the dark..

I love daylight. It feels like a conquered world. The chirping of birds, people going off to work, the air blowing thick with the sound of the busy city life; everything generates a positive vibe for unrestrained ideas and innovations. An optimistic approach seems all that is needed to drive away any sort of fear or sometimes it’s pretty much just the admiration of the daylight and an eternal wish that it keeps shining upon us. But then the night comes, an inevitable phenomenon. It still feels safe so far as I am surrounded with people or illuminations but once it is dark and the city life snuggles into cosy beds and pillows, my fear begins.

 A silence takes over as if waiting for an arrival. It is sometimes interrupted by some fading noises, either the barking of a dog or some gibberish sounds from neighborhood that elate me to some level knowing that people are around but soon it dies out. I don’t remember exactly when such kind of fear started striking me but my concern is that it encumbers me till its morning again. It isn't insomnia because I try to soak every ounce of sleep that surfaces out in my eyes but somehow I am woken up. It led me to sleeping in my parents' room to avoid the same but to my dismay it hasn't been of much help. The few steps in dark from my room to theirs are a sly and hasty affair as if the moment I turn back, I’d be grasped by some uncanny claws.

 The darkness isn't the same when I close my eyes but it isn't any better. My worries from the day come alive in inexplicable forms when I close my eyes and it scares me enough to close them again. Sometimes the barking of dogs turns into a chorused painful cry expressive of some long mourned grief that has occurred or is yet to and I hold on to my mother tightly and wish that it stops right away. Sometimes the brush of my hair against my ear gives me slight chills and I spring back from a chanced relaxation. I gaze at the window seeking moonlight but then I realize I haven’t the foggiest of what’s going on at my other side. It’s frustrating sometimes to turn back and forth or to think of turning the lights on to eventually find that every bit is the same but then that’s why days aren't scary because they need you to see and not seek. But night, as I have established now, is an inevitable phenomenon and fear is always of the unknown. It will continue to remain indomitable and perhaps a good sleep, like the angelic daylight, is the only escape. After all to be wiped out by light, darkness has to prevail.